


safe harbor

by ecv-197 (lazyfish)



Category: The Orville (TV)
Genre: F/M, Post Season 2 Episode 7: Deflectors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 22:08:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17816414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lazyfish/pseuds/ecv-197
Summary: After learning Locar's fate, Ed and Kelly have a talk.





	safe harbor

When Kelly got back to her quarters, all she wanted was a stiff drink and about three years of sleep. The bridge had just received word of Locar’s fate on Moclus, and it wasn’t what they had hoped. Kelly didn’t know why she ever bothered believing that things would turn out alright when the Moclans were involved - it seemed like Bortus was an anomaly in his species, because he was the only one who was half-decent. Emotionally constipated, sure, but bigoted? Not so much. Not to mention Bortus was trying to be better, something that couldn’t be said of his mate or any other Moclan.

Kelly sighed as she made her way back from the synthesizer, drink in hand. She was going to visit Talla the next morning for some girl talk, but first she needed to figure out what to say. There wasn’t a manual for how to deal with your friend’s almost-lover being sentenced to death because they decided to follow the rules.

Her train of thought was interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell. Kelly wasn’t interested in seeing anyone, really, but she also found that ignoring the doorbell was more trouble than it was worth. She could just shoo whoever it was off.

Except for that she didn’t want to shoo him off, because it was Ed. He was still in his uniform jacket, looking about as miserable as she felt.

“I thought I’d ask if you wanted a drink, but looks like you beat me to it.” Ed lifted the bottle of whiskey he was holding half-heartedly. “Can I come in?”

Kelly nodded, stepping out of his way and shutting the door behind him. She grabbed a second tumbler from the kitchen before sitting beside Ed on the sofa. He poured himself a finger of whiskey in silence, sitting back in the sofa with a contemplative look on his face.

“This sucked.” 

Ed cracked a smile, and Kelly couldn’t help but feel a little triumphant. “It really did,” he agreed, sipping the whiskey slowly. “It’s at times like this I wonder if we’re really doing any good.”

Kelly nodded. There were times it seemed like they were flying high, saving bioships and discovering two-dimensional universes, but other times, it just felt like they were losing. Kelly took a swig of her own drink, but even the burn of the whiskey couldn’t distract her from the tightness in her chest.

“Why do you think Locar refused to ask for asylum? Talla said she told him it was a possibility, and she’s right that I would have granted it.”

Kelly didn’t have a good answer for that. “He shouldn’t have had to ask for asylum in the first place.”

“He shouldn’t have.” Ed drained the rest of his glass, and reached forward to pour himself another drink. He stopped halfway through unscrewing the cap of the whiskey. “Do you think he didn’t love her enough?”

“What?” Kelly had to process her shock for a moment before she could give more than her instinctive first answer. “No… I don’t think it was really about Talla at all.” The relationship was new - barely there, really - but Kelly didn’t think that mattered, in the end. What mattered wasn’t Talla; it was Locar. Locar, and Moclus. She understood why Ed was asking, though. If Locar had loved Talla enough to risk shame and ruin on Moclus by being with her, then he shouldn’t have made her make the choice to send him back to his death. 

Ed set the whiskey back down, his tumbler still empty. 

“There’s something more you want to say.” Kelly knew him well enough to know the look on his face that meant he was biting his tongue.

“You’re not going to like it.”

Kelly waved her hand for him to continue anyway. She didn’t like a lot of what had happened over the last week, so whatever Ed had to say would just be the cherry on top of a shitty sundae.

“If it were us -”

“That would never be us.” There was no way her relationship with Ed could be anything like Locar and Talla’s. It was acceptable to have an opposite-gender partner in the Union, and she and Ed weren’t even different species. Even their positions on their ship didn’t mean it was impossible for them to have a relationship. Kelly’s refusal had everything to do with her own personal morals and nothing to do with Union policies.

Personal morals she happened to be rethinking, but that wasn’t something she wanted to come up in this particular conversation.

“Pretend, for a minute.” Ed turned to look at her, and Kelly found herself unable to look away. 

“I don’t know.” It’s the only answer she’s been able to give anyone lately, when it comes to questions about Ed.

“Indecision isn’t your thing, Kel.”

“It is now!” She huffed. “Apparently I don’t know anything about anything, or things wouldn’t have ended with Cassius and I would’ve been able to help Talla and -”

Her tirade stopped when Ed curled his hand around hers. “Remember that argument we used to have all the time about you always needing to be in control and fixing things?”

Kelly nodded, forcing herself not to pout at him. She had always hated that argument, even if the end result had normally been that she felt a little better about losing control in her life.

“I’m not going to repeat it, but… remember it right now.”

“I hate it when you’re right.”

“Technically, I’m not right. Past Ed is right.” Ed grinned at her, and Kelly rolled her eyes. She didn’t pull her hand away from his, though. 

“Past Kelly hated when Past Ed was right.” That hadn’t happened often, granted, but when it had happened, there were always fireworks - and not the good kind.

“I know she did.” Ed squeezed her hand before letting go.

They lapsed into silence. Kelly finished her drink and Ed retreated back to his thoughts, but it was enough for her that they were sharing the same space. Even if Ed wasn’t as good at talking about it, she knew what had happened to Locar was weighing heavily on him, too. They were in the same boat, and sometimes that was all they needed.

“You know, what you said earlier, about wondering if we’re doing any good…” Kelly began hesitantly. Ed blinked at her, a clear enough invitation to continue. “My dad used to give me this lecture when I was a kid, about taking risks. He’d always say this old Earth quote - ‘A ship in harbor is safe — but that is not what ships are built for.’ And I guess that’s true for us, too.”

“Can’t believe how much your dad liked navy metaphors,” Ed muttered, obviously remembering a similar lecture he had been given by her father at some point in their marriage.

Kelly chuckled. “I know. But it’s still good advice.”

“Yeah. If we never leave the outpost, then we can never get hurt… but that’s not what an exploratory vessel is meant to do.”

“Exactly.” They couldn’t have had all of those moments where they had triumphed without all of the crap happening, too. And even if the crap hurt, those happy days were worth it.

Which reminded her, almost uncomfortably, of her marriage to Ed. The bad days had been bad, but the good days… they still managed to wiggle themselves into her dreams, even when she had been with Cassius and trying very,  _ very _ hard not to think about Ed at all.

“Now you look like you have something to say.”

Kelly worried her lip between her teeth. She opened her mouth, intending to deny it, but what spilled out instead was… not that. “I love you.”

Ed blinked. “Sorry, repeat that?”

“I love you.” It had been accidental the first time, but with the repetition Kelly knew what she was doing. She knew what she wanted to say, and she was damn well going to say it. There were more words caught on her tongue, about how she’d been trying deny it and how breaking up with Cassius had freed her to think even more about them, but everything she tried to say was lost in the way Ed was looking at her.

Wonder. That was the only word to describe it, really.

“Really?” He breathed.

In answer, Kelly leaned forward to press her lips against Ed’s. The kiss was short, but when she pulled back, Ed chased after her. He captured her mouth in a second, deeper kiss. Kelly could taste the whiskey on his tongue - it was much better than the synthesized stuff she had been drinking - but what struck her more was the familiarity of it all. Kissing Ed felt good, and right, and safe. She never wanted to stop doing it.

Eventually she had to, of course, but only after they were both slightly flushed and out of breath.

“I’ve waited so long to hear that,” Ed admitted as he ran his thumb over her lower lip.

“I’ve waited too long to say it.” Kelly pressed a kiss to the pad of his thumb, savoring the smile he gave her in return.

“I still want to do this the right way, Kel.” Ed twisted their fingers together, the warmth of his skin seeping into her hand. “You know, with dates, and - and dates, and…” He began stuttering like an idiot, and Kelly smiled, pressing a finger against his lips to shush him.

“As long as you’re not going to say that I can’t kiss you again, we can do this whatever way you want.”

“Oh, no, definitely kiss me again.” They were both smiling too much for the next kiss to be anything proper, but Kelly still relished it. She could kiss Ed now, whenever she wanted. Well, almost whenever she wanted. She doubted they’d want to make their relationship public to the crew until it was on more solid footing, and consisted of more than just making out on her couch.

“Less thinking, more kissing,” Ed mumbled against her mouth.

“Yes sir,” she purred in response. Ed laughed, and Kelly’s heart felt like a star going supernova.

So things still sucked. At least now they sucked less.


End file.
